Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
