When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.