You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.