Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.