after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
