the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Rumble strips road head = magical
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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