Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
