I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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