Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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