Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
