The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize