Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sorry about my life...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
