Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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