my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
