hotel room ftw
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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