I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
