Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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