I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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