do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
