We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
