On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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