I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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