but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
