On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
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Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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