We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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