i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
