I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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