in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
