It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
