All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
