she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
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There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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