Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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