I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
