I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
