i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
