he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
