As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
