I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
