I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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