You just made me feel so damn special
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
