Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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