Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
