Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
