he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
