babies were throwing up all over the place
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize