I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
