Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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