Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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