i think i have two assholes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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