Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Too much gin, very little bucket
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
