she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am available for nakedness
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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