it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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