she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
