Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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