Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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