I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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