just come out here and I will go home with you...
no, he came in my armpit
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
