I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Actions speak louder than pants.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
