I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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