Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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