At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
