After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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