Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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