why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
